It’s frustrating to understand what’s happening and understand why/how it happened but be unable to stop, reverse, or fix it.
I’ve read and listened to so much about the impact and prognosis of comorbid, undiagnosed and/or late diagnosed Autism & ADHD. Has it helped make sense of some things? Yes. Has it empowered me to practice a bit more self compassion and self advocacy? Yes. But I’m struggling with all that comprehension not resulting in better outcomes. That part is upsetting.
I recently came across terms and concepts (apathy, avolition, aboulia, psychogenic death, overcontrol) that describe or feel similar to my experience. Led me to some interesting readings worth noting.
“Tiredness of Life” - these articles are variant write ups and studies of this term and phenomenon. though i’m not elderly and am fairly able bodied and independent, i do have this feeling. it was recently brought into focus during a bad reaction to an anti anxiety medication i tried.
Tiredness of Life and Assisted Dying - Psychology Today blog post 2025
Tiredness of Life: the growing phenomenon in western society - posted on The Conversation in 2023
Older Adults Who Experience Their Lives to Be Completed and No Longer Worth Living: A Systematic Mini-Review Into Used Terminology, Definitions, and Interpretations - a full academic journal article from 2021
Tiredness of Life — Conceptualizing a Complex Phenomenon - Another journal article from the same two authors as the prior link but published in 2024. restricted access though.
“Give-up-itis” - though i’m neither a PoW nor shipwrecked, this does very much feel like/describe what i’m going through. it was intensified by the anti anxiety meds.
Give-up-itis revisiited: Neuropathology of extremis full journal article 2018. From the abstract: “The term ‘give-up-itis’ describes people who respond to traumatic stress by developing extreme apathy, give up hope, relinquish the will to live and die, despite no obvious organic cause. This paper discusses the nature of give-up-itis, with progressive demotivation and executive dysfunction…”
People Really Do Die From Losing Their Will To Live - 2018 a short summary style article/blog post
Survival Psychology: the won’t to live - 2011 article.
Finished with Life Anyway and Then Stigmatized for Suicide - Really good full journal article from 2022 on ongoing stigma and exacerbation of struggles post disclosure or attempt. Carrying & wrestling with this creates this huge chasm between you and everything.
Distress Over-Tolerance and Distress Intolerance (2024 paper) - I tend to get annoyed when the subject of emotional regulation and distress tolerance comes up, especially when a therapeutic provider references it or starts employing language from Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I think it’s because I experience it as somewhat invalidating and basically telling me to suffer more. Discovered there is this concept/term “overcontrol” (2023 shorter summary write-up) that seems more fitting to my experience. Radically Open DBT (2015 full journal article) was developed to address this particular iteration of troubling amounts distress tolerance.
Social wanting dysfunction in autism: neurobiological underpinnings and treatment implications - 2012 full journal article. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my scores on the Social Responsiveness Scale from my psych assessment results. Of the sub scales, I’ve been specifically fascinated with the severe impairment in social motivation. This article was quite useful in gaining a deeper understanding of this particular domain of autism and its etiology. It even gave me some perspective on my relationship to camouflaging and accommodations.